


Effing Perfect

by honeysucklepink



Category: Glee
Genre: Episode Reaction, Gen, Outing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 06:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5956726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeysucklepink/pseuds/honeysucklepink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SPOILERS Through Episode 3.07: In Santana's moment of need, Kurt and Blaine figure out how to show her she's not alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an OLD and incomplete fic that I posted ages ago, before the "Mash Off" episode (so I just knew about the song, the outing and the slap), and the last thing I had on FanFiction.net that I hadn't transferred over. I don't know if I'll complete it because we pretty much know how Santana reacted to the duet in canon...anyway, figured it was time to shut down my FF./net account for good, so here are the spoils of that!

"Look, I'm not saying Santana deserves this, _no one_ does, but…I really have a hard time coming up with any honest-to-God _sympathy_ for her."

Kurt and Blaine were sitting in their usual spot at the Lima Bean, discussing the events that had just transpired that afternoon. Right after the Troubletones performance (which was really incredible, they had to admit…even Sugar was on key), Coach Sylvester had pulled Santana aside for a private conversation; all they had heard was "I'm so sorry, Santana" and "I don't know who told him" and something like "tried to get them to pull the ad…" Santana had then run up the aisle, hauled off and started slapping Finn repeatedly, screaming "WHY did you do this? Why, why, WHY?" over and over, almost sounding like a wounded animal. Finn had tried backing away with his hands over his head trying to protect himself, while Mr. Schuester and Ms. Corcoran both had to pull Santana off of him. When they left the auditorium, Santana was sitting on the stage, crying in Brittany's arms as she stroked her hair.

They found Finn in the hallway, his arms crossed in front of him, looking down and pacing. "Finn, what the _hell_ just happened in there?" Kurt asked.

Finn sighed, "I confronted Santana a few days ago, about her and Brittany. You know how they're all lovey-dovey with each other and they sang that Dixie Chicks song with Ms. Holiday last year? Oh, wait, you weren't here for that. Well, Ms. Holiday decided she was going to teach us about sex but with music, and she showed us how to put a condom on a cucumber which was weird, and then she kind of became the school's sex counselor for about a week, 'cause she was meeting with Ms. Pillsbury and her husband and…"

"FINN!" Kurt yelled, snapping Finn out of his rambling. "Stop going off on tangents. What about Santana and Brittany?"

"I called her out on her bullshit. Told her that she was a hypocrite hiding her relationship with Brit. That if you and Blaine could be open and out then so could she."

"Oh my God, Finn…" Blaine interjected. "You didn't—"

"NO, no, of course not! I know that outing is wrong. I've talked a lot with Kurt…"

"I finally got him to appreciate warm milk," Kurt interrupted.

"Yeah, right, well, he's taught me a lot about…gay stuff," Finn said softly. "Well not THAT stuff, but like political stuff. Proposition 8, Coming Out Day…I even wore purple on the 20th." Kurt smiled, thinking about how far Finn had come since that awful outburst in the basement that seemed like a lifetime ago. "Anyway, I would never out Santana…not on purpose…"

"Finn…" Kurt and Blaine both said questioningly.

"I…well we weren't exactly in a secure location," Finn finally said dejectedly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess someone might have overheard. All I know is, the other guy running in the election against Coach Sylvester and Burt says he has some kind of proof about Santana being gay and is going to use it against Sue, saying she… well, that she endorses lesbianism or something."

"God, sometimes I really hate politics and wonder why the hell I'm involved," Kurt muttered. "When?" he asked.

"The ad's supposed to air right after the news tonight," Finn said. "So Coach can't even…what is it when you want to say something against whatever someone else just said?"

"A rebuttal, Finn?" Blaine offered helpfully.

"Rebuttal, yeah, Coach can't even…rebut it on her 'Sue's Corner' segment. Kurt, Santana's going to be outed to the whole state tonight and it's all my fault! I didn't mean for this to happen, I just wanted her to start being honest with herself and not hurt Brittany," Finn started to rub his arms nervously, tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes.

Kurt brought Finn into a hug, reassuring him. "It is NOT your fault, Finn, don't say that. It was a mistake, you didn't intend for this to happen, and when Santana calms down, she'll understand that. Now, is there anything we can do? Call the station; ask them not to run it? I mean, Santana's a minor…"

"No, she just turned 18," Finn shook his head. "And technically it's not a lie. Coach already tried, they said no."

"So, as of 5:30 pm tonight…" Blaine started to say.

"Santana Lopez will be outed as a lesbian to the whole damn state of Ohio," Kurt finished the sentence.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember that I wrote this during Season Three, and that a lot of things and attitudes change in FIVE years!

"Kurt, I know Santana isn't…well, the kindest person on Earth," Blaine said.

"She SET. A PIANO. ON FIRE," Kurt answered, bringing his mocha down on the table with a little more force than necessary, as if to emphasize his point. "She used your audition for her sick little act of sabotage and tried to put the blame on you! It took the magic of Katy Perry to get Finn to finally come around."

"Okay, first, if we're being technical, _Quinn_ set the fire, and the other Cheerios poured the lighter fluid," Blaine defended. "And come on, Santana got Karofsky to back off, started the Bully Whips, got you to come back to McKinley…heck if it weren't for her _I_ wouldn't be at McKinley! Remember when she went off on Dave at the benefit and what she said after? 'It was more fun doing it together.' Kurt, she may not be a member of New Directions anymore, but she's still…well, _family_."

"So, what do you propose we do? Storm the station tonight? Hold Rod Remington's toupee hostage?"

"No," Blaine giggled, then turned serious again."What's done is done. Santana's going to be outed tonight whether any of us like it or not. But she needs to be supported. I don't know what her family situation is like…I mean, yeah she lives in 'Lima Heights Adjacent,' I get it," Blaine emphasized with air-quotes, "but the girl I saw in the auditorium this afternoon was _scared_. We don't know if she's lucky enough to have a Burt-and-Carole in her life, or if her parents are more like, well, _mine_ , thinking it's just some phase...or…"

"Or…what, Blaine?" Kurt asked.

"Just…worse than mine, let's just say that. Look, I just think that when it's been REALLY tough, she's been there for you, for us. We just need to show her she's not alone. That there are people that love her, no matter what."

"Um, _love_ , Blaine? Seriously?"

"Oh, don't pretend, Kurt. Deep down you and Santana are two snarky, snippy gay peas in a pod."

Kurt huffed and rolled his eyes, knowing that there was a little truth in what his boyfriend was saying. "So my dear Blaine, what do you propose we do?"

"Well, I thought we could knock out two birds with one stone, apologies to Pavarotti, rest his soul. Mr. Schuster's assignment was for us to do women's songs, right? Well, thanks to my vast knowledge of Ms. Alecia Beth Moore's repertoire, I think I have the, shall we say, 'perfect' song for us to sing tomorrow. And I think it's exactly what Santana will need to hear."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and we know what happened next. o_O
> 
> (I apologize for how this ended up...when I originally wrote it on FanFiction.net years ago it was literally before the episode aired and I was going off previews. Since then I have not been able to give it a proper ending, because...well, in the end Santana's snarky way of brushing it off makes the most sense.)


End file.
